chill n relax

· Why did the Grammer teacher slap Santa's Son?B'coz he asked: Why is BRA Singular, when it covers 2 items n PANTIES Plural when it Covers one item?


· Tension is when wife is pregnant!Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant! Horror: When both r pregnant! Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!


· Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.


A woman guest approaches the bar in a small restaurant.She calls the guy at the bar and when he is standing in front of her, she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer. Then she bends over the desk and starts to caress his beard. 'Are you the owner of this place?' she asks and touches tenderly his cheek.'Ehhh. No. Not at all!' he replies.'Would you please call him here?' the lady asks and gently touches his hair.'Oh, I'm very sorry. But no. Impossible!' the man sighs. 'Would you then please do me a great favour?' the lady asks and follows gently the line of his lips. 'Of course. What ever you wish!' the man moans. 'I want to leave a message for the boss!' she says and let first one - then two - fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on.'What message?' he asks with the two fingers in his mouth.'Please tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel in the lady's room!


It was rush hour and the bus was packed. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, 'Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!''I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket.''Oh really,' she spat. 'Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!